if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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