So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
