maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize