You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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