i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
