and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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