wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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