apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
