if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
