yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My first STD was from a foam party
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
