I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
