I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
third nipple confirmed
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
