fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
