I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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