he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
