if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
