Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
no you cant smoke seaweed
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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