At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
