The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
