dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So squirting runs in the family.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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