I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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