Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
