I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
