Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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