I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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