everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
