She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
