She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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