Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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