Non-Jews are for practice
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Pooping to opera.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
