I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
