I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
