woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
