these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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