you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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