I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
