If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
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