i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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