It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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