Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
