i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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