Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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