he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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