Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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