So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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