Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
