I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We have started to decorate penises.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
