I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
