Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
