Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
