I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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